I have always envied girls who have been able to use their diaries as an honorary best friend and confidant. It was an outlet that kept them from being publicly conceited and saving their friends’ sanity. Diaries pose as a way to express shallow musings, and keep social interaction on a pleasant, distraction-free level. I’ve tried and tried again to keep my writings free from outside influences, but somehow I always end up formatting my writings to appease future readers. This, I found, is against the purpose of a diary. Maybe I feel like I’ve got some sort of unspoken mission, something to prove to myself – like I need to watch my words for fear of imperfection seeping in. Using pen and paper solidifies one’s vocal agenda. There is no way to renounce any words hand-written. They sit there, just begging to be read, analyzed, and criticized for future reference. Pen and paper have become a form of self-expression, whereas a keyboard and mouse have become a form of self-publication. I am my own press, I create my site, I write my content, and while my audience can be monitored, my blog is public ground. Call me vain, but I would rather write for people to read and for future discussions to brew. A beautiful aspect of online journaling is that it allows you to express things that don’t come up in normal conversation. No longer is a reason, pre-meditation, or prompting needed to express – you can just write.

I am giving up the countless notebooks that have “PRIVATE” scribbled incessantly all over the covers. While the thought was good in theory, I lacked commitment to work for a self-audience. I am giving up the multiple amounts of xangas and livejournals that are filled with thoughts, feelings, and pictures of who I used to be. I love the feeling of starting over, with a fresh outlook on life. An honest way to accomplish this is to merely switch URLs.

Today I start anew, my dearest blog. We've broken up and reunited countless times, and I'm sure that today won't be a final commitment. This will probably end up being a summer 2008 phase that will pass with time. However, my enthusiasm towards recording my everyday abstract thoughts without bounds begs the creation of this online journal.

So, cheers to cheap commitments and meaningless blogs.